What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 03:59
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
We all went to grammer schools
How do you deal with neighbors who are always telling you what to do?
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Why do people believe that global warming is man made?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
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But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
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Another so called friend had bit the dust..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My mum and dad in the seventies!
What are some cute picnic ideas for a romantic date?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
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Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
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Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Why does he text me first but when I never text first he gets mad?
I have no regrets .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
When she asked me how she looked .
Why is the US going after Canada after all? What is the reason for all this hostility?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Hello I am 17 year old boy and I am interested in transgender why?
I was 9 years of age.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
What was your best revenge story?
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
She found it foreign!.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
She loved him until the end.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
She wouldn,t have been !
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I waited trembling.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I don,t even have a pension.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
He resisted the act ,that day.
One cannot live in the past .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I was seconnd youngest,
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I think the readers, may guess!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Ive learnt so much.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
What did i know ?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Would this be the day?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I write beautiful poetry .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
So, i spoilt her more .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Especially a lifetime of it.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I will be 64.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But it wasn’t much.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
My family never makes their pension either.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
So whats the point in blame.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
This is soul school!.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Put me off passion for life!!
I could never make a relationship work though!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
And i lived it daily.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I said to her
I never cut or harmed myself..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
We were not on the streets..
He knew the spot.
As i do to all so called friends.?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She was in good health!
Why did i forgive my father ?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
(And it was in our own minds.)
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I was very sick at this time too.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I was scared of men, in general
This is how, and why children get BPD.
All the time i was locked up.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Im still living with it.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She married twice! .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My life is so biszare .
Who then, do I blame.?
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
But ive been too sick for many years..
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But, we were locked up after school.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
It was going to be , some day.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Comes on , in middle age.